Health

“Stop drinking” is a really bad (re)solution. Here’s why.

If you make one wish for 2021, it’s more of a revelation.

I’m not going to tell you what resolution to make to make your life better. The one resolution which is more of a revelation.

Not yet. The risk that you will not start reading is too high. But you will be rewarded, if you keep reading.

Photo by Khamkéo Vilaysing on Unsplash

New Year’s resolutions are mind energy thrown out? You could be right. Following a 2018 study, fewer than half of Americans resolved to change anything in the preceding year. And most of those who did failed. Only 16 percent of respondents said they stuck to some of the resolutions they made before.

Those of us who still believe in self-improvement through desires, want nothing more in the coming year than to live a healthier life, according to Statista’s Global Consumer Survey: We resolve to “exercise more” (44%), “eat healthier” (42%), “lose weight” (31%). So far, so self-centered…

But we don’t just want to become vitamin-packed, shredded fitness models. We also want to be better people: 34% plan to “spend more time with family/friends”, 30% to “live more economically” (bye-bye F150), some of us even want to pay back to our employers and “improve performance on the job” (23%) or “reduce stress on the job” (20%).

Traditional sins rank lower

Only at the end of the wishes for the self are “quit smoking” (19%) and “cut down on drinking” (15%). Statisticians may crucify me. But considering that according to the CDC, as of 2015, only a total of 15.1% of U.S. adults smoked, doesn’t that mean that many, many, if not all smokers want to quit in the new year?

As nice as it would be if they were successful, “quit smoking” doesn’t really make a good New Year’s resolution. Yes, you can read on. Even if you are one of the last adults stuck in the tobacco industry’s trap. I will not tease you and pick on this addiction. Because smoking is so insanely dangerous (as well as plain stupid) that you shouldn’t wait for the hungover morning of January 1 to quit.

Conversely, I find it quite remarkable that 15% of respondents to Statista’s “resolution data” want to limit their alcohol consumption in 2021.

This is despite the fact that alcohol use is incredibly more prevalent than tobacco use. Let’s have a look at the 2019 figures from the National Survey on Drug Use and Health (NSDUH): 85.6 percent of people ages 18 or older reported that they drank alcohol at some point in their lifetime; 69.5 percent reported that they drank in the past year; 54.9 percent reported that they drank in the past month.

Now let’s assume for simplicity that at least the people who say they drank “last month” are drinking regularly. That they didn’t just drink once that month. That they drink regularly on the weekends. And also now and then during the week. That they love (equals crave for) the fizz of the opening beer bottle or the pop of the wine cork after a long hard day out there on the job site or the office (at home).

And again, please, dear statisticians, spare me for mixing results of two different studies. Not a scientific approach, I know. But my feeling is that the numbers do give an impression of what’s going on out there.

31 million drinkers want to quit — in the US alone

In summary: At least half of adults (U.S. Census reports 209 million persons over the age of 18) in the U.S. drink regularly. So a good 104 million people over 18 drink regularly. And as many as 15% of respondents to the “resolution study” want to drink less. Since the “resolution study” also refers to all Americans, that would be 31 million people.

Bottom of the bottle: 31 million out of 104 million drinkers want to “cut down on alcohol”. One in three. So if you were sitting in a bar right now, you could assume — based on my DIY statistics — that the guy on the stool to your right or the girl on your left would like to finally stop drinking in 2021.

Or, the human being sitting between the two drinkers: you.

Now I jumped the gun. Yes, the one and only resolution you should make is to stop drinking. Either you keep reading, or you’ll just wish you drank less for a long time to come.

Yes, right, the only really meaningful resolution for 2021 is: quit drinking.

You know it is because you are an intelligent person. And you have long since seen through the fact that all the other resolutions: to live healthier, to become slimmer, to be nicer to your family and better at your job: ALL of them will come true in the fulfillment of this one resolution. Read it again: When you stop drinking, all your other resolutions come true. Automatically. Inevitably. If you keep drinking, they will never come true, automatically. You know it. And from my own experience with alcohol during the last decades, I confirm that you’re right. I guarantee for both automatisms.

“Cut down on alcohol” or “stop drinking” are really bad resolutions. Here’s why.

The thing you probably do not know: Just “cut down on alcohol” or “stop drinking” are really bad resolutions. WHY is that? Because they are almost unattainable. They imply an unlimited time frame. In other words: no end in sight. These resolutions encompass the rest of your life. And the idea of drinking less or nothing for the rest of their life is unimaginable to drinkers. I would argue more people who drink believe in winning a million in the lottery than succeeding in not drinking for the rest of their lives.

You probably also don’t know what resolution makes it much easier to live a life without alcohol. This resolution is much more than a resolution, it is a RE–wait for it–VELATION.

Yes, wait for it. Just one more minute. Let me first briefly summarize WHY your life will be so much better without alcohol. You know all of that anyway, but here again the arguments that helped me not to drink any longer:

• You’ll live a life without a hangover. Not even on Saturday and Sunday mornings.
• You’ll find joy in the little things. Like being healthy, for example.
• You’ll enjoy an unknown mental clarity. Even at work.
• Your friends and family will soon wonder what’s wrong with you. Why you’re always in a good mood. Are you in love, they’ll ask. Yes, in life, you will answer.

This list goes on. It’s my personal list. Soon you can start your own.

When you hear me say “arguments that helped me not to drink any longer”, you might think these lines are written by an ascetic Zen Buddhist. So let me enlighten you: The writer of these lines has been drinking regularly since he was 14 years old. Beer and wine, almost never the hard stuff. But regularly.

But also with regular breaks. Sometimes three months, sometimes three years, and everything in between. Why did I take these breaks? Because each time I felt the same as you: I knew that I was an intelligent human being with lots of potential. Favored by genes and environment. And that I was pouring these fortunate circumstances down the sink. Glass after glass, bottle after bottle, buzz after buzz, intoxication after intoxication.

In total, I lived straight edge for maybe seven or eight years within the last 20 years. That means two things: I know how to quit. And I know how to start again. Been there, done it all.

Make the big resolution a BIG REVELATION

Ah yes, back to our BIG REVELATION. Here it comes. It took me 20 years to find out, even though it is so obvious. It is so obvious that the hundreds of thousands of groups around the world that help themselves to overcome addiction are based on it.

Only no one ever told me. Because I never went to one of those groups. I never called myself an alcoholic and I wouldn’t do that today. I’m just someone who lives a better life without alcohol. Period.

The BIG REVELATION means: you only have to get through this one day. You don’t have to resolve not to drink again for the rest of your life. Just this one day.

And the next. And the one after that. And the fourth. Fifth, sixth, seventh. What you’ve got? Bingo: a week without alcohol.

Take a long walk. Treat yourself to a sundae. And then start all over again. Day after day. Only one day at once.

Imagine your first day without alcohol. Let’s say, it will be January 1, 2021. (Any date will do.) On this day, not drinking may not be much of a challenge. You’re probably hungover. If you’re my age, the hangover is most likely still reverberating in your head on January 2.

So why start drinking again on January 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8? (even if January 8 is a Saturday)?

There is absolutely no reason.

Besides, this little craving in the back of your head. That’s the good news.

You will start feeling the craving on day 4 or 5. Why is that good news? Because it is only the craving. Very few drinkers are physically dependent and react to withdrawal with trembling hands or other physical symptoms. (But, if you do: not so good news. You’re really addicted. Go see your doctor and have them send you to rehab.)

Yes, you read that correctly. Your so called addiction, that craving of yours, it is not physically caused. It is a psychological dependence. In other words: It only exists in your head. That’s where your individual experiences in concert with our culture has anchored and cemented it.

Fantastic news: we can use a simple tactic as well as an easy strategy to break up that cemented foundation. Yes, that cemented, iron-reinforced foundation will break apart.

Use a simple tactic

The tactic to overcome this cemented relationship with alcohol is simple. Just stay sober for one day. Don’t drink one day at a time. Just. This. One. Day. At. A. Time.

“Just?”, you’ll ask. Yes, that’s right. Just this one day. Because taking on a whole week means seven times the workload. A month: 30 times. A year: 365 times. The whole rest of your life? Incredibly tough, unimaginable! Just one day: simple!

The strategy is also not difficult to follow

Now, to develop a strategy, we need to analyze the situation first. Let’s take a couple of things for granted:

• Alcohol addiction is all in your head. It is a habit. Not more. And not less.
• Our culture and your personal experience have cemented this habit into your mind. The way you were raised and conditioned, what you saw and learned from role models such as parents, relatives, peers, sports coaches, co-workers, bosses, the media, and the multi-million advertising spend of global industry, leads you to believe you live and love better with a regular intake of a toxic substance called “ethanol”. That’s the name of the substance that initially makes you take off, only to make you crash. It’s always the same ethanol, whether in a can of Coors Banquet, a 1990 Châteauneuf-du-Pape, or a shot of Kweichow Moutai.
• The human body functions without alcohol. Same for the soul. No newborn or child needs alcohol to exist, to learn, to express itself to others, and to love their fellow human beings and their own life.
• Alcohol doesn’t relax you nor does it help you cope with life. This is just a learned pattern, a deeply embedded myth.
• If alcohol were necessary for life, there would be an organ that would process alcohol from food. Humans don’t have any such organ. No animal has such an organ. Only yeast fungi convert sugar to alcohol for energy production. On the contrary, there are human organs that break down alcohol to protect the body from its toxic properties. This is mainly the liver.
• The first glass in the evening is such a relief because it helps against the craving. The craving that comes from the habit. From nothing else.
• The habit can be broken by not giving in to it for some time. To get it out of your brain.

Now, based on these facts: Your strategy is centered around getting the habit out of your brain. To achieve this, you must unlearn to believe that the first glass relaxes you. Without the first glass, there won’t be a second, third, fourth.

How do you do that? By being very attentive. Starting with your Liberation Day (January 1 or whatever day is right for you), you will be on guard. You will be vigilant about how our culture constantly reminds us of the program that makes us believe alcohol is essential. You will become an expert at deciphering what your family and friends are saying, what the media is showing, what advertising is promoting.

And it will strike you how often you are bombarded with the message that alcohol is indispensable for you. I haven’t counted yet. 20, 30, 50, 100 times a day, depending on the Netflix series you watch, may well be true.

The high impact rate is no surprise, considering that global alcohol industry sales are expected to grow from $1.4 trillion in 2017 to $1.7 trillion in 2025, according to figures from Allied Market Research. Remember: A trillion is one thousand billions. There are many people out there, who work day and night to make these numbers true. They do it by continuing to chisel the message “alcohol makes you successful, sexy and relaxes you” into your brain.

As an industry, you can only come up with such numbers by exploiting central functions of humans and their brains. The quick habituation of the human brain to the apparently positive effects of alcohol is one such function. But the negative effects exceed the positive ones. For you as a person as well as for society. I’ll spare us the numbers game about how much calculable suffering alcohol causes each year. I just googled one sentence: “Alcohol consumption contributes to 3 million deaths each year globally as well as to the disabilities and poor health of millions of people”, says the WHO.

This game doesn’t have to happen with you as the victim. Thanks to your NEW YEAR’S REVELATION 2021, the BIG REVELATION, you can quit starting January 1 — or any other day you see fit, why not right away, let’s say: December 31, 2020?

And what better time to experience the first days, weeks and months without alcohol than the Covid-19 period with its lock-downs? You can see all this as a great limitation. Or as an opportunity for yourself.

• No business trips with free stuff in business lounges and classes.
• No kick-offs with your crew.
• No trade shows.
• No parties.
• No concerts.
• No carnivals.
• Or, where I live: no Oktoberfest. (Or do you believe we’re through the pandemic in autumn?)

The mantra to stick to your laptop

The only few things you have to do fit on a sticky note on the laptop or on the fridge:

• You are a better person without alcohol.
• Every day, from Monday to Sunday, life is better without a hangover.
• You just have to get through this one day.
• Tomorrow you will be proud of yourself for leaving the first glass today.
• It’s all about the first glass. Leave it. Just for this day.

These few phrases have become my mantra. I remind myself of it by wearing the sign of the Straight Edgers, the X. It doesn’t have to be a tattoo. An X as part of small inconspicuous friendship bracelet, or sometimes as the dial of my (S)watch, will do. (Not paid by the Swatch group, I promise.)

Call it the “Power of the X” and make that power your BIG REVELATION. Think just a few days ahead. Don’t you think all those other resolutions will come true all by themselves? You don’t have to scroll up, the big resolutions are:

• Exercise more.
• Eat healthier.
• Lose weight.
• Spend more time with family/friends.
• Live more economically.
• Improve performance on the job.
• Reduce stress on the job.
• You might even quit smoking …

Think about it: How in the world are these effects not going to happen if you stop drinking?

Chose your date, follow the tactic, learn to apply the strategy. Then take it one day at a time.

Just this one day.

Write me and tell me what you think about this article. My email is hello@danielcramer.rocks

Additional resources:

There are a number of good books, courses and more recently podcasts about quitting and not drinking permanently. Here is just a small selection. I am not involved in sales and no one’s affiliate.

• Annie Grace (www.thisnakedmind.com) wrote a book in the style of Allen Carr and developed a series of (paid) courses. Reading her book “This Naked Mind” helped me to learn again what I already knew about alcohol from someone who has had a very similar career to mine — professionally as well as addiction-related. This article you just read follows her insights, but of course she goes much deeper. Reading her book will reset your subconscious about alcohol, she promises.
• Allen Carr might be familiar to you if you’ve ever tried to quit smoking. In his Bestseller “Allen Carr’s Easyway to Stop Smoking” he decodes the subconscious of smokers, who must have learned to smoke at some point against resistance from body and mind. So they can “unlearn” it again — that’s the gist of his method. This idea has grown into an international company (www.allencarr.com) that also uses his method to wean people off alcohol or sugar. The book on alcohol is called “Allen Carr’s Quit Drinking Without Willpower: Be a happy nondrinker”. (Allen Carr died of lung cancer in 2006 after letting smokers initially smoke during his non-smoking seminars for more than 20 years, according to reports).
• Podcasts are the new thing (at least for me since I came across Malcom Gladwell’s Revisionist History, but that’s another story). If you google for “best podcasts on alcohol”, you’ll see — what else — lists of podcasts recommending this or that alcoholic beverage. So you have to google for “podcasts on alcoholism”, which at the moment, you might want to do only in the incognito mode of your browser. Because dealing with alcohol and getting used to it, strangely is taboo (I’m going to write an article about it). I recommend www.soberpodcast.com to you — all others will be suggested by your podcast program soon.
• Falls du deutsch verstehst, musst du dir den Podcast von Nathalie Stüben anhören, eine der ersten europäischen Podcasterinnen, die den Anti-Alkohol-Podcast-Hype aus den US übernommen haben. Nathalie hat, ähnlich wie Annie Grace, eine steile Medienkarriere hingelegt und niemand hätte sie wohl als “Alkoholikerin” bezeichnet. Dass sie trotzdem viel zu viel getrunken, und damit beinahe ihr junges Leben zerstört hätte, beschreibt sie eindrucksvoll unter www.oamn.jetzt. Auch sie bietet einen Online-Kurs zur Unterstützung deiner Entwöhnung an.

Write me if you have suggestions for books, courses, and podcasts in your language, and I’ll list them here! My email is hello@danielcramer.rocks.